Different Types of Bullying: What Every Child Care Provider Should Know
Every child deserves to feel safe, supported, and included — but bullying can quickly undermine that sense of security. Bullying is repeated, unwanted behavior that stems from a real or perceived power imbalance. Recognizing the different types of bullying is essential to understanding its emotional, behavioral, and psychological impacts on children.
National Bullying Prevention Month, observed each October, is an excellent reminder for child care providers to stay alert and ready. The following sections outline real-life examples and warning signs for different types of bullying, along with practical steps you can take.
How Bullying Affects Children’s Well-Being
Bullying is more than a temporary conflict between kids — it can leave lasting marks on a child’s emotional, behavioral, and psychological health. Understanding these impacts helps child care providers respond with compassion and urgency.
Emotional impacts
Children may feel fear, sadness, shame, or loneliness. They may dread coming to your program, withdraw from friends, or appear anxious during group activities. Over time, these feelings can erode their sense of safety and sense of belonging. Research reported by the National Institutes of Health links bullying to higher risks of depression and anxiety.
Behavioral impacts
Some children’s behavior becomes more physical or disruptive, while others withdraw from activities they once enjoyed. You might notice sudden drops in participation, avoidance, or physical complaints, like frequent headaches or stomachaches.
Psychological impacts
Bullying can damage self-esteem and leave children feeling powerless. StopBullying.gov reports that bullied youth are more likely to experience academic problems, sleep difficulties, and — if the bullying continues unchecked — even long-term mental health challenges.
1. Types of Bullying: Physical
Example Scenario: The Ball Pit Shove
During gym time, two 7-year-olds race for a ball. Malik grabs it first. Another child shoulders him hard, snatches the ball, and later “accidentally” trips Malik when the staff aren’t looking. Malik grows quiet and avoids activities.
What’s happening:
Physical bullying involves hitting, kicking, shoving, tripping, spitting, or damaging belongings. It’s usually the easiest to spot, but it can be disguised as rough play.
Warning signs:
- Unexplained bruises, torn clothing, or missing items
- Avoidance of certain areas, activities, or peers
- Mood changes, withdrawal, or escalating retaliation attempts (small “paybacks”)
What you can do:
- Interrupt immediately and calmly. Separate students, check for injuries, and document what you saw.
- Describe the behavior using actions.. “I saw a shove after the ball was grabbed.”
- Re-teach game rules. Model assertive communication (“I’m using it — it’s your turn next”), and monitor hotspots (gyms, transitions).
- Follow your program’s response steps. Communicate patterns to families, using StopBullying.gov definitions.
2. Types of Bullying: Verbal
Example Scenario: Hurtful Nickname
At snack, a group starts calling Serena “Slow-Poke Serena” whenever she takes time to answer. The nickname spreads, and by the end of the week, several groups are calling Serena “Slow-Poke Serena” and she stops raising her hand during homework help.
What’s happening:
Verbal bullying includes repeated occurrences of teasing, name-calling, taunting, threats, and inappropriate sexual comments. It can escalate quickly because it is often rewarded with attention.
Warning signs:
- A child avoids activities or group discussions
- Frequent headaches or stomachaches before the program
- Repeated nicknames or jokes aimed at one child (watch the target’s face and body language when the group laughs)
What you can do:
- Name the behavior. “That’s name-calling, and it’s not OK here.”
- Practice do-overs. Have students restate comments respectfully.
- Build a shared language for respect (posted norms). Praise upstanders who redirect or include others.
- Communicate with families. If relevant, include your program partners such as behavior specialists, counselors, school staff, etc., to ensure consistency in the plan.
3. Types of Bullying: Social (Relational)
Example Scenario: The Group Chat Gestures
Three friends quietly agree, “Don’t sit with Alex,” and they encourage others to avoid him, whispering, “Alex cheats at games.” Over the next week, they spread rumors about him, exclude him from group activities, and laugh when he tries to join. Alex starts lingering by the staff , hesitant to interact with peers.
What’s happening:
Social (relational) bullying harms someone’s reputation or relationships through exclusion, rumors, or public embarrassment. It often goes unnoticed.
Warning signs:
- A child becomes socially isolated or moves between groups
- Gatekeeping behaviors include saved seats, subtle hand signals, and eye rolls.
- Rumors or inside jokes that consistently exclude one child
What you can do:
- Observe the pattern and address it. “I’m seeing a plan to exclude Alex — that’s not how our group treats people.”
- Use structured mixing. Rotate partners/teams, and run inclusion games that reward new combinations.
- Teach repair language. “I messed up — can we restart?”
- Follow up with targeted social-skills support and parent/guardian communication. Document incidents. Refer to the Centers for Disease Control to support the argument that relational aggression is harmful.
4. Types of Bullying: Cyberbullying
Example Scenario: After the Photo
During field day, a counselor posts photos of the event online, with permission from the families. That night, a few students start a private chat where they mock Kaiden’s appearance and post edited images, making fun of him. The next day, Kaiden sees the chat when another child shows it to him. By the time activities begin, Kaiden refuses to participate.
What’s happening:
Cyberbullying happens via texts, apps, social media, forums, or games and includes sharing mean, false, harmful, or private content to humiliate someone. It can happen any time and spreads quickly online.
What the data says:
- Among bullied students ages 12-18 (2021-22), 22% reported being bullied online or by text.
- Frequent social media use is associated with higher reports of being bullied at school and electronically and with poorer mental health markers, underscoring the need for digital-wellness education.
Warning signs:
- Sudden avoidance of devices or compulsive checking
- Drop in mood, program engagement, or attendance after online incidents
- References to spam accounts, screenshots, or private chats about a peer
What you can do:
- Document incidents. Save or request screenshots from families when appropriate.
- Review and reinforce your device policy. Clarify when and how staff address off-site issues affecting the program climate.
- Teach digital citizenship. Use free educator materials on privacy, consent, and reporting.
- Share reporting pathways with families and youth. Utilize platform tools, school reporting, and involve administrators or law enforcement if threats occur.
A Simple Response Framework for Staff
- See it, Stop it: Interrupt, separate, and describe the behavior, not the child.
- Check safety: Look for injuries, emotional distress, or ongoing risk.
- Document and notify: Record who, what, where, and when, patterns, and witnesses. Follow program protocol and notify guardians.
- Teach and repair: Re-teach expectations, coach apologies and amends, and plan restorative steps as needed.
- Monitor and follow up: Track whether the child being bullied feels safe and if behaviors change over time.
Quick Staff Training Ideas (15 Minutes Each)
- Hotspot scan: Identify places and times where problems tend to occur ( arrival, transitions, gym) and assign coverage.
- Language reset: Practice five standard scripts (“That’s rumor-spreading; here we include.”).
- Upstander circle: Role-play safe bystander moves: redirect, include, report.
Copy-and-Post: Program Norms (Feel Free to Adapt)
- We include everyone. We respect each person by speaking kindly and using their real name.
- We use kind words. Jokes aren’t funny if they hurt.
- Bodies stay to ourselves. We keep one another safe.
- We keep digital spaces safe. Share and post with consent.. Report problems.
- We fix it. If we hurt someone, we repair and rebuild.
Bullying takes many forms, but its impact on children is always profound. Understanding various types of bullying and their effects helps child care providers create safer, more supportive environments. National Bullying Prevention Month is an annual reminder, but the commitment to respect, inclusion, and kindness lasts year-round. By staying alert, modeling program values, and partnering with families, you help ensure your program is a place where all children can grow, belong, and thrive.