How to Deal with Bullying in Out-of-School Settings
Bullying is not limited to school environments; bullying outside of school can occur in after-school programs, extracurricular activities, and other out-of-school time (OST) settings — including digital spaces. Bullying behaviors are as varied as the contexts in which they occur. That’s why it is essential that adults know how to recognize and address diverse types of bullying.
This guide outlines actionable strategies for responding to bullying in the many forms and environments it may take outside of school.
Recognizing Bullying in Out-of-School Settings
Bullying involves repeated unwanted behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. A power imbalance can happen when children are of different ages, sizes, or popularity. Bullying in OST settings may look different due to the more flexible nature of these environments. Examples include repeated exclusion during group activities, physical actions like hitting and tripping, taking someone’s belongings, spreading rumors, or verbal teasing during unstructured moments.
Signs a Child Is Being Bullied
Identifying bullying early is critical to addressing it effectively. General signs that a child may be experiencing bullying can include:
- Sudden withdrawal from social activities
- Unexplained injuries
- Frequent complaints of headaches or stomach aches
- Noticeable drop in confidence
- Unusually quiet or anxious demeanor
- Reluctance to attend their usual extracurricular programs or be present in childcare settings
Alternatively, a child being bullied may start displaying physical behavior, have difficulty following rules, or frequently blame others for their actions. Supervisors and caregivers should remain observant and proactively address these behaviors to create a safe and inclusive environment.
Addressing Bullying in After-School Programs
After-school programs often serve mixed age groups. This increases the likelihood of older children bullying younger ones because of the power differential. Bullying can occur during transitions between activities or in unstructured play areas. Staff can supervise transitions and unstructured activities closely, empower bystanders, and create a bullying prevention code of conduct.
Example 1: Fostering Respectful Dialogue
You’ve noticed that Jaxon, who is typically quite active and engaging, is withdrawing from activities during summer camp. You pull him aside and ask him what’s going on. Eventually, he mentions that Kevin has been being mean to him. You discover that Kevin has been calling Jaxon a “skibidi toilet” and when Jaxon asks him to stop, he calls him a “vibe killer.” Jaxon says he tries to ignore it but it keeps happening.
Suggestion: Children often mimic behaviors and language they see online — considering them funny and seeing them modeled by popular adults — without understanding how they may affect peers in real life. Reassure Jaxon that no one deserves to be called offensive names, and that standing up for himself is brave, not being a vibe killer. As you then seek to address Kevin’s behavior, continue to check in with Jaxon to ensure he feels supported and his experience is improving.
Explain to Kevin that behaviors seen online can be hurtful in person, and that being hurtful is never funny. Although he and some peers may think it’s amusing, explain that being kind is the best way to make real friends. Let him know that jokes like “skibidi toilet” are only funny in their original context because they are used by fictional or imaginary characters, rather than people whose feelings can be hurt. As in many cases of childhood bullying, asking those who are bullying how they would feel with the roles reversed can be an effective way to teach empathy and show a child the likely unknown consequences of their actions.
Example 2: Encouraging Inclusion Across Age Groups
You notice that a group of older children never allow younger ones to play with them, perhaps belittling them as “babies” or immature.
Suggestion: Pull the older children aside and ask them what they remember about being younger and playing in similar settings. Ask if they ever had role models or older children they wanted to play with, and show them that they now have that opportunity with their younger peers. Explain that, as an older child in a group, using their influence positively and teaching others is cooler and even more mature than bullying behaviors.
Example 3: Addressing Social Bullying
Social or relational bullying can be common in OST settings, especially among girls. You may see children telling others not to befriend a certain peer. Perhaps they are spreading rumors about them or intentionally embarrassing them in public.
Suggestion: It’s important to remember that young children often don’t understand how their behavior is hurting others, even if it seems like that’s their intention. An adult should focus on supporting the child facing relational bullying, as well as on teaching those who are doing the bullying why those actions are wrong. Support the child being bullied by validating their feelings and affirming that no one should treat others cruelly. Check back in with them as necessary to ensure they feel supported and included.
At the same time, the adult should immediately address the bullying behavior. Talk with the child or children engaging in this behavior about empathy and inclusion. Help them understand how bullying affects others. Often, all a child needs is to consider how they’d feel in a similar situation in order to understand why their actions weren’t appropriate. Positively reinforcing caring and empathetic behavior also goes a long way in establishing positive norms in OST settings.
Bullying prevention and intervention is not about discipline; it’s about fostering empathy, respect, and kindness. By addressing bullying in out-of-school settings proactively, childcare providers and supervisors can make a lasting positive impact on the children in their care.